Monday, August 6, 2012


So. The Olympics. I think that the short version is that I love the games, pretty much detest the coverage.

Now, the on-demand thing is pretty awesome, especially if you're interested in some of the lower profile sports. Being able to see any event you want is a tremendous boon.

The other boon about that is that the lower profile sports don't seem to have the attention from the NBC announcers, which is all to the good. Candi was watching Show Jumping, and there was almost no announcer at all. You just got to watch the competition without anybody saying anything at all. Blissful.

Especially detest the gymnastics announcers. With their ghoulish delight in the suffering of the athletes, their insight-deficient blabber that adds nothing, and their tiresome myopia about the American competitors, these guys just flat-out suck. Then there's Andrea Kramer, the interviewer who seems to specialize in asking questions designed to screw with an athlete's head. Just go away, all of you.

The games themselves are great. I've always been a sort of Olympics junkie.

Something occurred to me while watching the gymnasts this year: professional golfers can just bite me. The thing that's so silly in the PGA is how silent everyone is for every shot. The announcer speak in their hushed whispers, the crowd holds its breath... I remember there was some stupidly huge controversy about some golfer missing a put because someone's shadow came into his line of sight at the critical moment. Oh, oh, poor thing.

Meanwhile, the gymnasts are out there doing these heart-stopping maneuvers that require an absolute degree of concentration, and the place is a zoo. All the different events are going on at once, there's huge bursts of applause and loud music from the floor apparatus... and it all goes on during the middle of your routine. If a giant blaring Rachmaninoff chord suddenly blasts through your ears while you're trying to do a hands-free flip along a four-inch wide balance beam, that's just how it goes. Keep your focus, kiddo, and try to make it look effortless.

Golfers. Piffle.