Progress Report: 4/16/12

It's been a very busy time recently. We are in the process of looking for a new house, which means packing up all the stuff in our old home and getting it ready to move. And... stuff, man. It's freakin' everywhere. It accumulates seemingly on its own, as if in accord with the old theories about spontaneous generation.

Writing-wise, I've decided that if I don't get a new agent and some progress by end of 2012, I'm going the small-press route with Dragon Waking and trying my luck that way. Publishing is a changing field, so the options for reaching an audience on your own are better today than they've ever been. Meanwhile, I'm still querying along.

And writing, of course.

Progress Report: 2/13/12

Announcement: I've got a new website. Go check it out at...

graysontowler.com

Lots of art and writing on the site for you to peruse, if you are so inclined. It's all part of my master plan to become an all-powerful fiction author!

(That's pretty much an oxymoron. Oh well.)

Speaking of that master plan, I'm back in the saddle again for the agent search. Fortunately, I've got a lot of the groundwork in place and have been to this rodeo a few times, so it's not as intimidating as it once was. I don't think anything can make rejection less disheartening, but at least I'm more used to it now.

I also have a Facebook page out there somewhere, though I think I am going to change it soon. I signed up as an "entity," which turns out to be a pretty stripped-down version of what Facebook offers. So I should probably look into getting on board as a "person" instead. I guess people have more options than entities. Who knew?

Progress Report: 1/17/12

Well, it's been a tumultuous new year.

The most important news is that my father-in-law passed away over the holidays. His name was Warren Tom Cooper, and he went by Tom. It was funny... in the hospital and hospice, he would let the nurses and doctors call him Warren until he decided that he actually liked them, and then they would get to call him Tom. It was kind of a code. He enjoyed stuff like that.

I've known Tom for over 20 years, and he's been a huge part of my life. Candi's relationship to him was always very close, and when I started seeing her he was immediately supporting and accepting. This was good... standing at 6'4" and built very solidly, he could be a pretty intimidating guy when he didn't approve of something. But when you were family, as I was privileged to be, he would do anything to help you along. That was the way his mother was as well. Both of them taught me so many important lessons in my life.

Right now, the impact of his passing is still setting in. We live in a different world now, Candi and me, and we're still getting used to that new reality. Life has a way of keeping you so busy that it's tricky to just sit with your feelings sometimes, and that has its upside and downside. I will say that this is the first time I've had to be a part of dealing with all the logistics and details of someone dying -- it's quite startling how much there is to do.

Tom was very supportive of my writing, and really helped me out with some of the details about the setting of my first book. So I feel like I can honor him by continuing to write and work towards getting my work published. Which I'm doing.

Just taking it a bit slow. This new world takes some adjustment.

Progress Report: 12/5/2011

Uh... yeah. I've been out of touch a bit.

So the main news is that I'm shopping for a new agent. The best advice seems to be at this point to wait until January because, as it is for most of us, December is kind of a crazy month for agents.

It's sort of a bummer to have to go through this again. My agent was never a specialist in my genre, though. She was trying to break into new areas. A first time author with an agent out of her normal depth... that's a bit of a steep hill to climb. We tried it out, it didn't work, so we decided to part ways.

Page-a-day writing continues to be a good solution for keeping the momentum going. I suspect some significant editing is going to be needed before what I'm writing becomes good finished material. That's not the important part right now. The important part is to keep writing.

Father-in-law is still hanging in there. He's beaten the doctors' predictions by a fair amount, and we're looking forward to our traditional Christmas visit.

And work is unbelievably frantic. I don't think anyone comes here to read about my work life, so I don't really bother with much detail on this blog, but... damn. The things you gotta do to survive in this economy. Sheesh.

I don't know how much more blogging I'll be able to do before the end of the year, so if I don't check in for a while... happy holidays, everyone! And the much ballyhooed 2012 is almost here. Let's see if there's anything to the hype this time...

Progress Report: 10/10/2011

It's been an emotional roller-coaster ride this month.

The big event, which has exerted its gravitational influence on everything else, is that my father-in-law is quite ill. We made an emergency trip out to Nevada to see him in the hospital, because at the time we thought we were going to lose him. After a few weeks of touch and go, he's still hanging on and has even rallied. He's in home hospice now, and... well, we're not sure how things are going to go from here.

That's the very short version.

The long version is more than I want to write about at the moment. It's been a strange and overwhelming time. For the moment, we're back home and getting back to normal life, and he's stable and cruising along. We're told we could get "the call" at any moment.

Through all this, I've been writing, page-a-day style, making progress. Is the writing good? Can't worry about that now. The only days I've missed have been the ones when we were driving 14 hours, so I think it's going well.

Anyway, that's it for the moment. I'll sign off with a quote from that fountain of wisdom, Marvin the Paranoid Android: "Life. Don't talk to me about life."

Progress Report: 9/5/2011

I have a new strategy.

My old strategy for writing, which it must be said has served me fairly well for many years, was to carve out a chunk of time when I could, write my buns off when I had the chance, and then stop either when I was out of time or out of steam. I have had many a productive session that way.

But for whatever reason, that isn't working now. It has a lot to do with how frantic my work life has been for a sustained period of time. I've fooled myself a number of times with a "Oh, next month looks like things will get back to normal!" At this point, I have to basically admit that what is "normal" has changed, and I'd better get used to the idea.

So here it is, the new strategy: one page per day.

Not an average of one page per day. Not, in other words, seven pages a week. Not "I'll get four pages done today so I don't have to worry about it for the next few days." Not "I missed my page yesterday, but I can do two today and make up for it." And, at least for now, not "I'm on a roll, I'll keep going and do some more pages tonight!"

One per day.

And after about two weeks of this, I must say I am extremely pleased with the results. I look forward to writing every day now, because in many it takes the stress out of it. When I was trying to carve large blocks of time in an increasingly busy schedule, I was putting pressure on myself to get a lot done at once... because who knows when I'd have time next? But one page is easy to find time to do.

What about my old friend, that muse known as momentum? This method provides a different sort of momentum. Granted, I have to put the brakes on a scene when I'm getting revved up, and once I get the hang of this maybe I will go back to taking advantage of larger blocks of time to write more. If I do, any extra pages I write will not "roll over" and get me off the hook for the next day's work.

But meanwhile, I'm sticking to the one a day thing. And I'm very much enjoying myself. Sure it means the book is creeping forward like a tortoise instead of taking great rabbit-like bounds, but we all know who wins that race, right?

Anyway, one per day for now. And in a month or so, if this is feeling good, maybe two per day? I think it's worth a try. Let's see what kind of pace we can this tortoise can sustain.

Progress Report: 8/22/2011

Have you ever been writing a scene that kind of gets away from you? It happens to me sometimes, and generally it's a good thing. It means the characters are taking on a life of their own, and that's always a fine moment. But recently I was writing what I thought was a conversation, and suddenly there was seduction imagery popping up all over the place. It kind of weirded me out.

I mean, in thinking about it, it's a perfectly appropriate subtext for the scene, but if I want to keep the novel in the Young Adult category, then I need to go easy on that sort of thing. Yikes.

Anyway...

What have I been reading lately?

Well, I burned through Jim Butcher's latest Harry Dresden novel, Ghost Story, devouring it as I might a particularly tasty sandwich after a tiring hike through the mountains. What's going on in the series is kind of cool... for about a dozen books, Butcher established a certain kind of status quo. Oh, it wasn't static, like a series where you can read it all out of order and not even notice, but there were certain foundational pillars to the setting, characters, and situations that you started to take for granted. Now he's knocked most of those pillars down. It's a bold move, and I'm keen to see how far he takes it. In any case, I enjoyed this last book a lot, which is pretty much par for the course with the Dresden series.

Now I'm in the middle of George R. R. Martin's A Dance with Dragons. And... well, I'm not burning through this one.

One might hypothesize that this is a case of me savoring the experience and making it last, since if the pattern holds it seems like it will be a long wait for the next book. But that's not really the case. Fact is, I can only take so much at a time.

It's grim stuff.

Terrible things happen, terrible people abound, and by this time we've got the idea with Martin that even when a good thing happens, it's going to eventually rebound and become a terrible thing. It's kind of the horror funhouse experience where you expect something to burst out of the dark at you at any time, but he's too good at making you care for the characters (most of the time), so it's not a funhouse at all.

I'm trying to talk about the book in the abstract, since it's just out recently and I don't want to throw out any spoilers. I'm also only halfway through it. One of the things about this book is that we know it's #5 of 7, so it's not like I'm expecting anything like the relief of resolution by the end, just another series of heart-rending cliffhangers and a character or two that I love getting the axe. This is what I have to look forward to.

Am I enjoying myself? Well, with Martin it is always top-notch writing, and I am certainly invested enough to keep going. Nothing has happened to keep me from wanting to see it through to the end yet. But we are in the middle territory of the hard slog, and it ain't easy going in here.

I think it is very interesting that right now, my wife Candi is tearing through a number of Stephen Ambrose books about World War II, reading at the blistering pace that only she can manage (seriously... she's a phenom). So here we have a historical story of a real-life dangerous, dark, and uncertain time... and it's nowhere near as grim as A Dance with Dragons. That's because in the midst of the expected turmoil and bloodshed of war, what shines out are these moments of completely unexpected humanity and decency. Unexpected, yet far more numerous than the cynic would ever guess. These moments occur, as expected, between comrades and arms... but also between those who are enemies.

Tolkien got it. The darkest part of the Lord of the Rings books is Sam and Frodo's last agonizing trek across Mordor. Yet even in the bleakest of all places, in the heart of evil, we see these moments. It's in the deep bond between Sam and Frodo, or the way Sam's tiny prayers are answered in unexpected ways, the little synchronicities that allow them to keep going, or a glimpse of the stars in the sky that remain untouched by the turmoil below.

This is what I feel is needed where we are in A Dance with Dragons, and what we aren't getting.

But hey, I'm only halfway through. I'll let you know how it went when I get to the end.

Progress Report: 8/1/2011

Back from vacation!

And no, as generally happens on summer vacation, it was not a time for much writing. It was, however, time for a lot of reading, which is the primary fuel for writing, and something I haven't had anywhere near as much time to do as I'd like.

I returned home to find our local Borders is shutting down, which in turn led to the knowledge that they are all shutting down. Borders has thrown in the towel.

It is somewhat sad, though it was the predictable end game of their extended struggle with the changing economy; it was not a well-managed organization. Hadn't been for a long time. Still, for me it means that the nearest bookstore (apart from the used bookstores) is now about a 30-40 minute drive away. Not something I ever expected to see.

From a writer's perspective, this isn't all that big a deal in the big picture. Fact is that while Borders is going away, and many other bookstores with it, people still read as much as ever. It's only the delivery system that is changing. A good story is still a good story.

And I am not willing to say that the bookstore -- and, more significantly, the physical book -- are yet on the cusp of extinction. The landscape is shifting, and the age of the bookstore's primacy has certainly reached its end, but they still have a place and (I believe) will for some time to come.

As for the paper book itself... well, I don't own an e-reader yet, though it is assuredly inevitable that I will. My biggest barrier is the way the screen strobes every time you turn a page. I find it annoying -- for my wife, it's a sure road to a headache, and probably to having the thing chucked across the room in a fit of irritation. So for our own corner of the world, we are still purely paper-readers.

The world is moving on.

Progress Report: 7/11/2011

The lack of updates here is mostly due to a focus on work, where things are extremely busy right now. Disproportionately so. In fact, it has gotten to the point where we are having special meetings now to address what has come to be called the "Overwhelm Issue." So it's not just me.

And that's all I really want to talk about on that subject. This blog isn't about my work life or home life, it's about my writing life. These various lives are not isolated from one another, but I do try to maintain some degree of focus.

I have still managed to eke out a bit of writing in this period of several frantic weeks -- meager progress, but infinitely better than nothing.

We have a vacation scheduled at the end of this month. Every time I look at a calendar, that week seems to fluoresce, emanating a golden radiance that beckons me on with its promise of... well, if not salvation, then at least of peace. As a trend, I haven't actually made much headway on writing on vacation, unless it a dedicated "writing retreat." Nevertheless, this time may prove something of an exception. I'm looking forward to finding out.

Progress Report: 6/20/2011

I carry on! In spite of what was one of the busiest weeks on record at work (my manager was on vacation, and thus I got to do the work of two maxed-out people), I managed to get some good writing in.

Translating Thunderstruck to prose has really given me an appreciation of how much flexibility the comic form gives you. There are some really cool things that you can do in comics that have no direct analogue in prose. I mean, this comic for example:

Comic 56 from Chapter 3...

I like that one. You get an ominous feel for what Grandma is up to, all done in pictures. Now, I can think of a way to describe those scenes of Grandma's and make it work, but the way they're plopped into the middle of Sharon and Gail's conversation is just not a thing that will fly in a prose context. Then you move on a few strips to something like this:

Comic 59 from Chapter 3...

And that's pretty much a wash. There are literally ten scene jumps on one page. You can make that work in a comic (I thought so, anyway), but in prose it would be a mess. And yes, there are plenty of solutions for getting across the same point. It's just interesting to appreciate how much freedom for certain things that the comic form allows.

Prose, on the other hand, has its own strengths, like I said in my last post. The translation between the two is giving me a new appreciation of both.

Progress Report: 6/6/2011

Let's see, starting off with an "At the Movies" segment...

I would highly recommend X-Men First Class. I went in with moderate expectations and was really impressed by the performances, the treatment of the characters, and the high level of quality of the whole thing. I am pretty sure that someone who has never read an X-Men comic would still enjoy it. It's my favorite big movie of the year so far.

Lousy batch of previews, though. I was never into Green Lantern, so it's kind of hard to get excited about a CG-fest like that. Saw the first trailer for Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and I couldn't swallow the premise. The idea is that a bunch of CG apes gain super intelligence, enough to wield spears and pick locks, and this somehow leads to them taking over the world, I guess. Here's a pro tip for would-be supervillains: if you're going to raise legions to conquer the planet, do not start with a species that is already endangered. You run into a real numbers problem. Also, intelligent enough to wield spears is inadequate. If this was Rise of the Planet of Raccoons Who Build Force Fields and Laser Cannons, that's starting to seem more plausible. And as you can see, I'm setting the bar really low here.

Okay, enough of that. In terms of writing, it was a really good weekend. I got a lot done, so much that I'm taking one of my "must spend" vacation days to work on more today.

What, you want a sample? Oh, very well. Thunderstruck readers will know the characters here:

"It would be natural to assume that Psyche was not the sort of person cut out for surveillance work. Taller than most men, with rare violet eyes that could stop a young man’s heart and a body that any Hollywood starlet would kill to match, she did not fade into a crowd. She moved with tigresses’ blend of grace and vitality, possessing a beauty that could make a poet throw aside his pen in despair. Psyche should have drawn the eye of every man and woman within a thousand yards; her face should have branded itself into the memory of anyone who chanced to look at her.

In fact, the opposite was true. Most people barely noticed she was there.

The eyes of onlookers widened for just a moment as they lit upon her, as if for the briefest of instants the one who saw her recognized what she was. Then the harassed glaze of the modern urbanite dropped back into place, and their eyes slid away to settle on something they could accept and understand. They shifted and moved aside to let her pass without realizing they had seen her, unconsciously withdrawing deeper into their cocoons of self-absorption so they would not have to feel the stirrings of something ancient and primal as they entered her presence.

There were times when she needed to be noticed. She had to make a conscious effort to diminish herself, to become more mundane and acceptable for as long as it took to buy a meal or ask directions. They gawked like moonstruck fauns and stammered their answers at her when she addressed them, then forgot her seconds after she turned and went along her way. The brighter Psyche shone, the more they closed their eyes against her. And so she walked among them, rendered invisible by the corona of her own radiance as she passed.

But Gail Curmen had sensed her."

Back to work...

Progress Report: 5/21/2011

I suppose one can say it's progress to have survived yet another apocalypse. How many is that now? I've actually lost count. It's kind of a heroic feeling though, kind of like being a superhero!

Seriously, I didn't even know about this one until the day before when my neighbors suddenly mentioned it. Silly things, these predicted apocalypses. You would think the 100% track record of failure would put people off this particular game, but no. I suppose the temporary boost of attention is the underlying motive, even if you end up looking like another poser the morning after.

The Rapture version of the apocalypse, to me, boils down to a desire to be proven right. Hey, we all want to be right, I get it. This is just an extreme hankering for that particular human need, where the Ultimate Authority descends from the sky, says "You were right all along!" and then for good measure points at everyone who ever disagreed with you and says "You were wrong and you will be punished for it!" I suppose the theory is that you could surf on the splash wave from that moment of cosmic satisfaction for all eternity.

Is the next one actually December 2012, or do we have another interim apocalypse to get through?

The 2012 one is not, of course, a Rapture prediction, though I suspect there will be some Rapture-seekers willing to co-opt the date as another chance to have the Judge of Heaven call a final winner in their eternal argument. The Mayan 2012 prediction, as I understand it, wasn't even necessarily an apocalypse, but an "end of an age" prediction. Also, they ran out of room on their stone tablet. I mean, how much calendar do you really need to get by? Comes a point where the speculation game is a little to abstract to warrant the constant meticulous chipping and carving you need to make a calendar back then.

Anyway, I'm sure that when we hit 2013, we'll have another apocalypse prediction to look forward to. After all, that buzz you get from surviving the end of the world is too good to give up.

Progress Report: 5/16/2011

About pushy characters...

In my experience, when a story is really on track, it has a life of its own. You end up writing things that surprise you. Characters take on their own identity and begin to do things that you didn't really plan for. They become pushy. This is a good sign.

Thunderstruck readers may be surprised to hear that Gail was one such pushy character. Way back in my original conception of the story, it was about Sharon's journey, and she quickly left her entire family behind. She had this sort of irritating religious sister who was, I am not terribly proud to admit, a pretty shallow figure... practically a caricature. They had some arguments about miracles, then Sharon found out some important things and pursued them on their own, bye bye family.

Only that sister, that stubborn, pushy sister, refused to just be one-dimensional. She had no interest in parroting simple-minded beliefs. She was a deep thinker, and her faith was something she wouldn't let me write off. Nor was her love for her sister... and Sharon, the troublesome creature, loved her back with just as much ferocity, despite their differences. Suddenly I had two central characters, not one, and I had to think a lot more about Sharon's whole family. And Thunderstruck became a hell of a lot more interesting.

The trouble with characters like this is they mess with your plot. They don't go where they're told, or do what you ask, or disappear when you want to be done with them.

I'm dealing with such a character now. He refused to be the simple jerk that I wanted as a plot device, he doesn't want to go away, and now Gail has decided she likes him. He's messing with my script.

So an author has the ultimate power and can force characters to behave however he wants, but I really think that severs your fundamental connection with the story and characters. The story breaks, perhaps irreparably.

But what you can do is kill a character. I think it's often a good idea to dust a character that the audience likes early on in order to show that the stakes are high. An early sacrifice. And I think I've just found my lamb.

Progress Report: 5/2/2011

Hi everyone. Still writing, still trying to get a handle on all my new responsibilities at work, and this month an unwelcome visit from some microscopic friends has helped make things even more interesting. The cold season has gotten an extension, it seems. So without much in the way of news to report, here's something I've been thinking about as a writing matter.

We're three installments into HBO's Game of Thrones series now. I'm enjoying it, but it does make me wonder a couple of things.

1) How is it for someone who hasn't read the books?

I often wonder this about these kinds of adaptations. The Potter movies, for instance, seem like they would lose movie-only fans on some pretty significant plot points. For Thrones, I wonder how hard it is to keep track of all the characters, 'cuz there are a hell of a lot of characters to get straight. Perhaps someone who hasn't read the books but who's watching can tell me. My hope is that it would inspire you to read the books.

2) What is it that a visual medium does better than print?

This is a question near to my heart, because I am grappling with it as I adapt Thunderstruck to its new novelized form. Certainly when you have visuals, you can choreograph certain kinds of scenes (action, especially) with more ease, but I think that a good writer shouldn't be hindered by that. It's fun to see a full artistic realization of a landscape, a castle, a suit of armor, yet I find that as often as not, even big-budget movies don't add a whole lot to what I've already imagined for a book I really love.

I'd say the biggest advantage that film has is actors. The subtlety of expression and inflection that a good actor can bring to a role are things that a writer simply has to hope the reader can fill in for themselves. Writers who try to spell out every detail of their character's facial tics, body language, and vocal emphasis tend to bog down their stories. An actor can, with a very minor change of expression, convey a whole world of information. To an extent, a drawing can do that as well.

(For Game of Thrones, I'm thinking particularly of the actor who plays Jaime Lannister. I'm really enjoying his performance.)

Now, a writer has all sorts of other tools and advantages that a visual medium lacks. It's a lot easier to fill in backstory and track the internal thoughts of a character in writing, and these are things that I definitely feel are missed in the Game of Thrones show. Still, it's nice to see good acting for characters I know and love (or love to hate). It adds a new dimension.

The other thing that films have as an advantage is the soundtrack. There's not much answer to that as a writer, unless you want to say "play this CD while you're reading."

Progress Report: 4/11/2011

Well, things are busy and interesting at work. The short of it is that I got a promotion, which is quite gratifying. Also involves a lot of new duties and some fair amount of ambiguity.

I have had some time for writing. Huzzah! I find that when I've been away from the fiction keyboard for a few weeks, my first stabs at writing tend to be very melancholy in tone, with characters who feel very isolated and fundamentally lonely. I don't necessarily think that it makes the best reading, though. It's something I need to get out of the way before I can write something that's more fun and (frequently) true to the character. It's worked all right for writing Sharon's wheelchair life, but really it doesn't fit Gail very well.

But I've gotten my depressing draft out of the way, and the writing is going much better.

In terms of reading, I'm done with A Wise Man's Fear. I think it was something of a sophomore slump for a talented author, and as a case study it contains a lot of valuable lessons for writers. And... I think that's about all I'll say.

Here's the colored version of the next Rose & Jade picture. With the dragon and everything.

Progress Report: 3/21/2011

Sometimes, work life kind of takes over. This year it's been especially true, for a variety of reasons. This isn't really a blog about my job, though, so suffice it to say that it's been the experience of running uphill during a mudslide the last couple of weeks.

Which has left little time for writing. Things even out over time, and I've got the itch to hammer away on my keyboard, so I certainly hope I can get things under wraps here soon.

I am reading The Wise Man's Fear, by Patrick Rothfuss. It's a book (and series) that seems to create a certain polarization amongst fans. Some folks really love it, and others really hate it. I'm enjoying it so far, though the pace is... hmm... leisurely? I think that fits.

I recall Stephen King saying on several occasions that the destination isn't what matters, it's the journey. There is something to be said for that, and I think authors who live by that maxim like to take their sweet time getting through a story (hence King's history of writing books that look like cinder blocks). Sometimes it's fun to mozy toward your destination and enjoy the sights. Other times, it's fun to put the hammer down and burn up the road.

Anyway, here's the line drawing of an illustration I'm working on for Return of the Dragon. That's Rose Gallagher again. Odd knife she's got there, isn't it?

Progress Report: 3/7/2011

Right now, work life is squalling and demanding pretty much all my attention. It's a good thing overall, with pretty good developments at work that I may be able to talk about later, but they're taking the lion's share of my energy. That, and taxes. Yeeeuch.

Here's an image I made for Return of the Dragon, featuring our protagonists, Rose Gallagher and Jade. I will be making a website for promotional stuff, and it's a nice thing to be able to provide my own illustrations. More to come later.

Progress Report: 2/21/2011

Proposal is done!

>thud<

As with the query letter, everyone has a somewhat different idea of how to make a proposal, what should go in it, and what a publisher wants to see. One suggestion that I didn't take was a chapter-by-chapter breakdown. Not unfeasible for my book, which has 19 chapters and a prologue, but I've known some writers who use very short chapters and rack 'em up by the dozens. If someone really wants to see such a breakdown, I'll write it.

So I've got more to do, but for now, I can enjoy the sweet feeling of accomplishment. Now let's hope it's an effective proposal...

Progress Report: 2/14/2011

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

Today I have more from my proposal in progress. Below is a brief accounting of the main characters in the story. Not all proposal sites/sources suggest that you do this, but I rather like it as an addition to the story synopsis. It lets me get in a few details and flesh out some of the character motivations without bulking out the synopsis itself.

Many thanks to everyone who responded with comments & critique on the synopsis. And I welcome more thoughts if you see something you think is good, bad, confusing, awkward, and so forth.

I hope to get a working draft of the whole proposal to my agent within the week. Truckin' along...

Progress Report: 2/7/2011

In the post below this one, you will find the first draft of my synopsis for Return of the Dragon.

So here's what this is. When you're submitting a book to a potential publisher, you put together a proposal that contains a number of components. One of these components is a synopsis of your novel. Opinions differ about how long this should be, and I decided to try for a relatively short version that weighs in at about 2 pages.

I thought it would be cool to see how this reads to a fresh audience, since its purpose is to spark the interest of someone unfamiliar with the story. So, what do you guys think? If there are any parts that seem confusing, dull, awkward, etc., please let me know. I want to get this sucker right.